There are few choices in life with permanent consequences. Having a child may be the biggest one. Marrying the wrong person at the wrong time doesn’t seem like one of the biggies now, at least to me. I was perusing a photo album of my marriage and reception when visiting my mother, who is the ultimate record keeper in our family. I own very few photographs, never mind a photo album, because I never seem to remember to look at them, and now we can keep our memories locked in our phones. My marriage album is one I hadn’t seen in years, and I was practically coerced by my mother to have a look. Boy, did that bring up memories as I married in the mid-seventies, and a bottle of quality champagne ( I also have the bill my father paid) was $12! That I married and divorced within three years wasn’t breaking any records.
I am not suggesting my choice to marry in my early 20’s, when I wasn’t emotionally, mentally and spiritually ready, had traumatic consequences on my future. In hindsight, my choice was a good thing. Good, in that I learned things about myself that I didn’t really want to face, and good in that my ex-husband had the patience and wisdom to endure my immaturity and still keep me as a valued friend.
All things seem to be clear in hindsight. Why can’t we know if our decision will impact our lives in a good or bad way until we try? Whatever heavily impacting choices we make in our lives, is really about understanding that we are in alignment with all our choices, and that we benefit from all of them.
Certainly, we can’t erase the past. We can create something different in the present moment if we don’t allow our judgements of the past to become the reason we don’t make choices in the present. We can’t be in fear of making yet another mistake. It took me a long time to understand that.